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Red lights are characteristics that are unacceptable to your client in anyone that he or she might date.Your client should agree to stop dating or to not date anyone who displays even one red light trait.For clients who struggle with developing and maintaining healthy intimacy, these written and well-defined guidelines – as obvious and overly simplistic as they may seem – can be a godsend. Hopefully, over time, as your clients utilize these guidelines in their dating life, they will develop a more grounded sense of who to choose as a romantic/sexual partner, and they’ll reflexively make healthier and safer choices.
Going on the perfect date is nearly every person's dream.
I think I should walk away.” The simple truth is most healthy people don’t need a dating plan because they have a (relatively) secure attachment style and they intuitively recognize red/yellow/green light characteristics.
However, these are not the folks who enter therapy seeking help with their relationships.
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City.
He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College and has been working in therapy for over 10 years. Marriage and family therapist Moshe Ratson says: "I think a first date should be relatively short, like having brunch or afternoon tea, going for a bike ride or a walk together, or visiting a museum.
Yellow lights are characteristics that should cause your client to proceed with caution.