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Here’s what I presented to him: “10 Simple Rules for Dating My Millennial Daughter": Rule 1. Must always root for the underdog, prefer baseball to football, jazz to rap, fall to spring, Fitzgerald to Faulkner, pubs to opera, Montana to Marino, tailgate parties to weddings, dogs to cats, Mel Brooks to Albert Brooks, Matisse to Michelangelo, Bartles to Jaymes. By the second date, you must have it memorized.)Rule 2. Must be able to absorb 0,000 in daughter’s college debt without holding a grudge or feeling like you saved half of Europe from starvation. Must be willing to advise me on various harebrained business ventures, such as my latest: Selling hemp hats to disgruntled hipsters. Must know how to tell a joke: A bear walked into a bar ... As time passed, you learned to pick up your dates before the cocktail hour, before her dad was feeling extra social and likely to utter the worst words you’d ever heard: “Sit down, son. He meant: “Have I ever bored your folks with pointless stories at lousy holiday parties?”To which I’d then reply: “Yeah, probably.” Today, boyfriend inspections are still a part of American dating culture, kept alive by fathers like me with a misguided sense of ownership over their children, the people they love more than anything in the whole world.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
The list above plays off a repeating joke: “I will make you go away.” Well, with a mother like you, that might be a relief.
If a young woman can’t even date your son without being threatened, what is life going to be like when she marries him? A while back, Aaron Gouveia made some observations on The Good Men Project about “The Rules” that every father supposedly follows when a boy is dating his daughter.
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.
Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Once upon a time, callow young men almost always met their dates’ dads.