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His goal would be to make new friends, get adjusted, and settle into classes and activities that make him happy.If he can focus on taking care of himself at school, he will find an easing of emotional pain and an increase in happiness.Try to fully engage in whatever activity you choose. Once you get started with aiding in healthy distractions and validation, monitor his mood and willingness to talk about school in the fall.Avoid talking too much about the breakup—take his lead on whether to discuss it. If he brings college up early in this process, and you still have time before school begins, I would validate his concerns for starting school.And you might even begin to bring it up as a way of preparing him for what’s to come.When it is time to chat about college, remind him that even if he was still with his girlfriend, this would be a time of transition.
I think passing along the validation to your son could be a great first step.
Often when we care about someone and want to take away their pain, we rush to problem solving too quickly.
Before trying to solving the issue at hand, I recommend acknowledging his pain and telling him that you are here for him. What is a plus here is that you might have experienced heartbreak yourself before, so your awareness of how difficult it is will likely create a sense of relief for him right off the bat.
At the same time, add that there will be time for problem solving later.
First, let’s work towards lifting some of the pain from the breakup.
She specializes in the evaluation and treatment of mood and anxiety disorders.