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It depends how things play out, whether it’s out in the open or “our little secret”.
Clandestine relationships or regular hookups with one straight and one gay/bi guy sometimes exist in a mutual state of insecurity and fear.
There’s no denying labels can be very important, to help people forge a sense of identity in a world where they may feel more marginalised – every letter in the growing LGBTQIA alphabet has fought for and earned its place.
But just as labels can reassure, they can also confine or confuse, or seem like a restriction to those terrified of being defined by it for ever.
The straight guy is worried his “secret” will be uncovered while the gay or bi guy fears he’s being used or unworthy of a relationship in public view.
It also depends why the guy doesn’t want to label himself – there’s a big difference between eschewing norms as a form of self-expression and hiding who you are to manipulate the advantages available to you as a straight person.
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