Questions seldom asked when dating
When we make a sacrifice, what we’re doing is giving up something that’s meaningful to us in order to allow someone else to have their way.It’s one person getting exactly what they need, while the other gets the exact opposite of what they need.
Because when your partner manages to change your behavior – when you find yourself increasingly changing your usual way of being in order to avoid conflict with your partner – then they gain power and control over you. I want to talk about toxic relationships – so called because instead of nourishing your growth, as a relationship should, they slowly wither you away like poison in your system.
I used to work as a domestic violence prevention educator.
I went into schools and community organizations to explain relationship dynamics, and I talked about everything from how to build a healthy relationship to how to improve unhealthy communication to how to spot an abusive partner.
Are they accusing you of cheating when you shut your phone off to have dinner with your parents, with the intended outcome being that you always answering when they call?
Are they telling you that they don’t like who you are when you hang out with your best friend and that they’d rather spend more time alone with you, with the intended outcome of your becoming socially dependent on them and them alone?
And 2) Are they doing it to gain power and control over you?