When is it time to end a dating relationship
Looking back after it ended I saw the red flags more clearly, and I saw how early they had appeared—earlier than I had realized at the time.
I recognized that I had seen warning signs of his real character and our incompatibility, and that my instincts had been telling me to back off for some time. I thought it was his nerves, his anxiety, his not wanting to be hurt again, or because he loved me so much. But a balanced person puts their own needs across, just not in a selfish way. It is not trying to control who they spend time with.
He could not shake his thoughts and fears that I could be cheating was something he couldn’t shake.
I visited the USA six weeks after our first visit, still hoping he could change in this area. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight for a minute, even to drive into town to purchase dog food! I was very tired one evening after a busy day, so I said I’d talk to him the next day (our conversations were never just ten minutes, always at least an hour, and I just didn’t have the energy for that because I also had to be up early the next morning.) He texted me during that night to inform me he thought it was “bulls**t that I wouldn’t talk to him.
In these cases, long distance is just compounding serious challenges that would have been present in the relationship anyway.
When this happens in a LDR, however, the distance can even make you stay in the relationship longer than you would have otherwise.
Our guest author today, Kim, is going to talk about something completely different—how to make the decision to end things in your long distance relationship because it’s become too hard, too unhealthy, just too… Other times, the distance is less of a problem than the relationship itself.I was looking around and enjoying the view, people watching, when he became withdrawn and quiet. It’s easy tell yourself that he’s just acting a little over the top because he cares so much.He later said that he’d noticed I was watching a male waiter walk around the restaurant. The fact that John was acting jealous and insecure seems obvious now as I write this down, but it was less obvious then. Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.He claimed to have realized where he was going wrong.He said that he’d had an epiphany, that “a cloud had been lifted,” and he was now seeing things clearly.
This is because when you’re in a long distance relationship it’s harder to figure out if the warning signs you’re spotting are serious enough to warrant you calling things off or whether things will get better if you just hang in there (or if you could live in the same place).